Divide and Conquer: How Inauthentic Relationships Fragment Society
The Illusion of Connection in a Digital World
This article is inspired by my ongoing podcast series, Echoes of Tyranny: How Fiction Became Our Reality, where I compare George Orwell's 1984 with Aldous Huxley's Brave New World and explore how their visions of the future are coming to life today. To delve deeper into these discussions, I invite you to listen to the latest episodes of the Intellectual Freedom Podcast.
We live in a world where you can DM your crush, order sushi, and adopt a pet llama without leaving your couch, but you still feel like no one really gets you. We've got apps for love, apps for friends, and, yes, apps for organizing playdates—for dogs. Yet somehow, despite all this digital "connection," we're lonelier than ever. Depression is skyrocketing, meaningful conversation is shrinking, and the social glue that used to bind us? Yeah, it's more like glitter glue now—fun to look at, but it doesn't hold anything together.
So, what gives? Here's the truth: the shallow, inauthentic relationships that modern technology fosters are fragmenting society. These surface-level connections—whether it's your Instagram mutuals or a dating app match—weaken our ability to form deep bonds. And the more divided we are, the easier for those in power to keep us distracted, isolated, and scrolling endlessly. Sound bleak? It is. But it's also time we start talking about how inauthentic relationships are being used to divide and conquer—and what we can do to fix it.
The answer may lie in the shallow, inauthentic relationships that have become the norm. These aren't just harmless quirks of the digital age—they're tools of division. Superficial connections aren't just weakening our personal bonds but fragment society, making it harder for us to unite and push back against larger power systems. Yeah, I know, it sounds dramatic, right? But hear me out.
The Rise of Transactional Relationships
First things first: let's talk about transactional relationships. These are the kinds of relationships where emotional depth takes a back seat. People are valued not for who they are but for what they can offer—whether that's validation, entertainment, or just someone to swipe right on between Netflix binges. The entire concept of intimacy has shifted from a foundation of mutual respect and vulnerability to one of "What can you do for me right now?"
Enter dating apps. Swipe left, swipe right—bing! It's like playing a video game, but you're browsing humans instead of slaying dragons or collecting coins. Human beings with lives, histories, and emotions. But in this transactional game, they're reduced to profiles, stats, and selfies, judged in less than a second—not exactly the stuff of deep connection.
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not here to vilify dating apps entirely. They've helped people meet and connect in ways that were impossible before. But the problem is the mindset they cultivate: convenience over connection. And that's not just in romantic relationships. Friendships, family connections—even professional relationships—are being shaped by this mentality. It's quick, easy, and surface-level. And it's eroding our ability to form more profound, meaningful bonds.
Curated Personas and the Illusion of Connection
Next up: social media. Oh boy, where to begin?
Social media is where everyone is living their best life. From the outside looking in, it's all beach vacations, gourmet dinners, and happy relationships. But you and I both know we're seeing a highlight reel—a carefully curated version of reality. Curating our lives for the world to see isn't exactly fostering authenticity.
Think about it. When was the last time you posted something real? Not "Got a new job!" or "Here's some skydiving in Bali," but something genuinely vulnerable that shows your life's messy, complicated parts. Probably not often, because who wants to be that person on Instagram? But that's precisely the problem. We're so busy polishing our public image that our private connections are left gathering dust.
While we scroll through these polished lives, what do we feel? Jealousy, inadequacy, loneliness. Even though we're" connected" to hundreds, maybe thousands of people, we feel more isolated than ever. This curated, superficial world isn't bringing us closer; it's pushing us apart. It's like we're all in our own bubbles, living out our best lives—at least on screen—while real, human connection becomes an afterthought.
Fragmentation as a Tool of Control
Now, here's where things get really interesting—and a little sinister.
Fragmentation isn't just a side effect of inauthentic relationships. It's a powerful tool that benefits those in power, whether governments, corporations, or the platforms themselves. Fragmented societies are easier to control. Why? Because when people are divided emotionally, politically, and socially, they're less likely to unite and resist.
Think about it: a society distracted by surface-level connections and curated personas isn't going to rise up and demand change. It's a society that will keep scrolling, consuming, and feeling disconnected without knowing why, and that benefits the powers that be.
Social media platforms thrive on division. They show you what keeps you engaged, even if that means pushing you further into your own bubble. Political polarization? It's not just an unfortunate byproduct of social media—it's baked into the algorithms. The more divided we are, the more time we spend arguing, doomscrolling, and clicking while feeding the machine that profits off our disconnection.
Consumerism and Emotional Isolation
And it's not just politics. Consumerism plays a huge role in this emotional isolation, too. The more fragmented we are, the more we consume. Feeling lonely? Here, buy this. Feeling disconnected? Maybe a new outfit will help. Superficial relationships breed superficial solutions. And you keep buying when those solutions don't work because they can't fix the deeper problem. You keep consuming.
It's the same with relationships. When we feel unfulfilled in our shallow connections, we don't seek depth—we seek distraction. A new partner, a new friend, a new app. Something that promises connection but ultimately leaves us feeling more isolated than before.
The Consequences of Fragmentation: A Disconnected Society
So, where does this leave us? It's in a pretty fragmented place. And here's the kicker: when we're fragmented, we're weaker. We're less likely to unite for causes that matter, whether that's fighting inequality, challenging authoritarianism, or even just building a stronger, more connected community.
A disconnected society is a powerless society. Without solid and authentic bonds, we don't trust each other. And without trust, there's no unity. And without unity, well—change becomes nearly impossible.
Rebuilding Authentic Relationships
So what do we do about it? How do we fight against a culture that encourages shallow connections and fragmented relationships?
It starts with authenticity—real, messy, vulnerable authenticity. We need to stop curating our lives for the sake of appearances and start fostering deeper connections with the people around us. That means being present, honest, and open to emotional risk. It's not always easy, but it's worth it.
We also need to reclaim our collective power. Strong, genuine relationships are the foundation of a united society, capable of challenging oppression and building something better. History shows us that the greatest movements—civil rights, women's suffrage, labor rights—all began with people forming deep, trusting bonds with one another—bonds that couldn't be broken by superficiality or fragmentation.
Conclusion: The Power of Real Connection
Ultimately, it's about more than just swiping right or getting likes. It's about reclaiming human relationships' depth, vulnerability, and realness. A fragmented society can be easily controlled, but a society built on authentic, meaningful connections? That's a society with the power to change the world.
So, next time you're tempted to curate your life for the "ram," ask yourself: Is this real? And if it's not, how can I make it real?
After all, the most powerful thing we can do in an increasingly fragmented world is to reconnect. Deeply and authentically.
David D. Hopkins is a Humanities Professor, podcaster, and content creator who lives at the intersection of classical literature and modern chaos. With a passion for uncovering timeless truths in old books and applying them to today's absurdities, David blends deep insights with humor to keep the conversation both enlightening and entertaining. Whether behind the mic or the keyboard, he strives to make the profound relatable and thought-provoking…at least, that's the goal.
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